So, MY mom sent ME a full-size mannequin – what’s YOURS done for YOU lately?

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So, my mom sent me a full-size mannequin. I don’t even know what to say, so perhaps a picture:

I put her in the garage, because why would anybody in their right mind need a mannequin in their home? The operative phrase here is in their right mind. My mom must have been using her LEFT mind – the one she LEFT behind when she called me to say: (True Story, NO JOKE)

Mom: Bloomingdale’s is having a sale on their mannequin’s. They are beautiful. Do you need one?

Me (bewildered???): What’s on sale at Bloomingdale’s?

Mom: Mannequins. They are turning over the mannequin’s and getting new ones. The mannequin’s are beautiful, and

there’s nothing wrong with them!

Me (still bewildered): Did you say mannequin’s?

Mom: Oh, you have to see them. They have *real* eyelashes and the fingers are just beautiful. I think you need one.

Me: Did you just hit your head?

Mom: honey, I perfectly fine. I just think you could do so much with her. You’re just so talented that way.

Me: What way? What are you talking about?

Mom: Don’t worry I just found the most beautiful one. I’m going to haggle with them to see if I can get the price down.

<click> she hangs up on me. I didn’t have much time to think about it until now. -a week later, I receive a ginormous box with a full-size mannequin in it. We’ve already named her Monique. My husband didn’t even blink, and just asked, so where do you want her?

But, WTF? What does ninja bitch, CEO, do with a mannequin?

So now, since I’m just so “talented that way,” I need to figure out what to do with her. and STAT. I mean, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom. She’s kooky, but in the best possible way. The gifts I have received over the years – obviously sent with love. What do you suggest we do? I mean, come on ladies,

My mom sent me a full-size mannequin – what’s yours done for you lately?

What says “I love you” more than a 6 feet tall naked mannequin?

-Ninja BITCH, CEO

Wow, just WOW.

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Comments

  1. That is just nine kinds of awesome!

    I vote that you dress her up for the holidays and take her with you to parties!
    Gina aka Slappy recently posted..Unfollow FridayMy Profile

  2. That’s a great idea. I REALLY want to, but she’s quite heavy. We’re thinking maybe dress her up and leave her at our front door to great guests, kind of like a sexy butler? I hope she doesn’t scare the little ones!
    NINJA (bitch),CEO recently posted..So, MY mom sent ME a full-size mannequin – what’s YOURS done for YOU lately?My Profile

  3. @notdahmomma says:

    She could be your hostess with the mostest – I think the front door is perfect. She’s always smiling.

    You gotta start looking for a Halloween costume for next year.

  4. Jamie says:

    Funniest thing ever. EVER. I want to hang out with your Mom. And Monique.
    Jamie recently posted..if i could turn back time | mamamashMy Profile

  5. Leanne says:

    Oh, hell yes! I need one. So, you need to change her clothes DAILY. Mo seems like the kinda gal who puts together outfits for every occasion. Second, just to be fun, start leaving her in a different spot every so often, just to scare the shit outta your hubby. Options include your bed, when you know he’s coming home late, just inside the door, cause, you know. And I think on the pot, very early in the morning. And take pictures!!! Let me know how this all goes. (I love a good husband torture!)
    Leanne recently posted..BastardsMy Profile

  6. When I figure out what to do with her….I’ll invite you-all over!
    NINJA (bitch),CEO recently posted..So, MY mom sent ME a full-size mannequin – what’s YOURS done for YOU lately?My Profile

  7. XLMIC says:

    All of those are awesome ideas. You could also station her in the kitchen with an apron on, poised at the stove or holding a bottle opener… at the ready to do whatever needs to be done.
    XLMIC recently posted..Jingle Bell Hell 2011My Profile

  8. Amy says:

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520257,00.html
    I like sexy butler. Or you could do a full-size elf on the shelf with her, make her move around the house every night after your (too old to believe in Santa) kids are in bed…

Trackbacks

  1. […] PS. I’ll leave you with a video for Chistophe’s song, Aline. Because it’s in french, and it’s one of my mom’s favorite songs. Plus, she tried to get me to learn french by listening to all of these french love songs.  To this day, I still love french love songs and still can’t speak a single word. And if you want to know more about my mom, feel free to read about the time she sent me a 6 foot tall naked mannequin…. […]

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